


Mawwiage

by seraphina_snape



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Aliens Made Them Do It, Fake Marriage, Gen, Gen or Pre-Slash, Humor, possibly crack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-01-20
Packaged: 2019-10-11 21:17:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17454485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/seraphina_snape/pseuds/seraphina_snape
Summary: Sheppard and McKay accidentally get alien-married. Of course it's all Sheppard's fault.





	Mawwiage

**Author's Note:**

  * For [willidothefandango (nagth)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/nagth/gifts).



> This story is set early in season one.
> 
> The title is a reference to The Princess Bride.

“This is just great,” McKay muttered, angrily biting off a large chunk of the crumbling power bar he’d found in his vest pocket.

“Gweat,” he repeated, small pieces of crunchy cereal and chocolate spilling from his mouth. He swallowed, coughed, and started pacing. “I’ve known you for what? Seven months? And already I’m bound to you for the rest of my life by some alien contract! Do you have any idea--” McKay stopped mid-rant and retracted his hand. He’d been gesturing at Sheppard with his power bar, wasting energy-providing food by letting it fall to the ground. “Just great.”

“You know, McKay, it’s not like I was expecting something like this when I signed the papers,” Sheppard said, trying to ignore the small fleck of chocolate that seemed to be stuck to the corner of McKay’s mouth. And how had McKay gotten chocolate-y power bars after almost six months on Atlantis? They hadn’t had any of these in storage for two months, had they?

“Maybe you should have asked for clarification on the details before you volunteered me for an episode of Alien Marriage!” McKay turned to Ford, who was trying very hard to be invisible. “Ford, go and find some nasty, people-eating alien monsters. If I have to spend the rest of my life bound to the Major, I might as well make it as short a time as possible.”

“Now, Rodney, don’t do anything harsh. We need you on Atlantis and getting yourself killed by--”

“Who was talking about getting me killed? I was thinking along the lines of how my poor, unfortunate newly-wedded husband got himself mauled by some extraterrestrial black bear or other.”

“Now see, Rodney, that’s exactly the kind of attitude that makes everyone think you’re too mean for me. No wonder Teyla and Ford are betting on how long this marriage deal will last.”

“What? There’s an office pool, so to speak?”

Sheppard half shrugged. “Well, the odds are about a million to one in favor of us killing each other within two days; one day if word gets out on Atlantis."

McKay scoffed. "Why would you complain about this? I'm a total catch - anyone would be lucky to be married to a great mind like myself."

"Sure," Sheppard drawled. "Anyone who thinks insults are foreplay."

McKay's brow scrunched up in contemplation. "You know... maybe this can work to our advantage."

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. 

"I was just thinking... if there is a betting pool and _someone_ \--" He gestured to Sheppard. "--had an in to the various bets, we could make a killing if we timed it right."

"We'd need a proxy to place a bet." 

"Details." McKay gave a dismissive wave. "So, are you in?"

Sheppard gave it a second or two of thought and then nodded. "I'm in."

McKay grinned. "Sheppard, I think this is the start of a wonderful friendship."

Sheppard grinned back.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! *g*


End file.
